January 13 2012 | comments icon 0 COMMENTS     print icon print

10B-McGHEE-65TH

The family that is saying goodbye to two parents is my own

By Fr Eddie McGhee

On Christmas Eve, just as I was preparing for the First Mass of Christmas I got an urgent phone call from my brother Dave to come to Ayr Hospital immediately. Our Dad, Dave, had had a massive coronary arrest. Although he had been in hospital for a day or so with what appeared to be a chest infection, none of us were too worried, our main concern was for our Mum, Bridget who was in the same hospital terminally ill.  I got to the hospital in time to celebrate the Sacrament of the Sick with Dad but in spite of the huge effort by the medical team he died a half hour later. His funeral was celebrated in his home parish of St John’s Cumnock on December 30 2011. My brother Jimmy gave this summary of Dad’s life at his funeral Mass.

David Wilson McGhee, our Dad, Dave, was born in Annbank September 12 1923, the Second son of Edward McGhee and Roseanna Marion Wilson. He was one of five children, Pat, Dad, Phil, Bert and Edna. Pat and Phil have already gone to Heaven. Aunt Edna is not well enough to be here today. Bert, the youngest of the four boys is here with us. Ironically, it was on Uncle Bert’s second birthday that our grandfather was killed in Mossblown Pit on All Souls Day 1929. All of the boys followed their father into the mining industry. Dad left school at 14 and began work as a miner, a job which he would have for the next 44 years until he retired aged 58.

He met and married Bridget Moran in St Thomas’ Church, Muirkirk, September 6 1946.  ‘Bid’ was the love of his life. They shared their joys and their sorrows, their highs and their lows. Dad was super stressed by Mum’s terminal illness. Mum’s only concern was her Dave.

On September 6 this year they celebrated their 65th Wedding Anniversary with a Mass in their home.  This was all they wanted to mark the occasion. It is also an indicator that Dad and Mum were people of great but essentially simple Faith. They brought up 10 children. That itself takes faith and courage. In some respects we may not have had all the material things that we so take for granted nowadays, we never lacked love and care and we always had enough. Our parents encouraged us above all to be ourselves and were enormously supportive of each of us in her or his chosen path in life. We all have reason to be grateful for this.

None of us is defined by the job that we do but Dad’s job, working underground for 44 years certainly helped shape his philosophy. His politics were founded on justice and equality. I’m not too sure what he really thought of New Labour. I think they had moved too far to the right for him!

Bid and Dave moved to Cumnock to 72 Netherthird Road on December 21 1951.  The house was brand new and their hopes were high. They became parishioners of this parish of St John the Evangelist in Cumnock. This church was at the centre of their lives.  Every significant event was celebrated here. Going to church was not something that they did. It was a statement about their identity as people of Faith.

Dad had come to Cumnock to work at Knockshinnoch just a year after the disaster. When Knockshinnoch closed he moved to the Killoch where he worked until he retired, with one brief foray to the Barony for a short spell as Safety and Training Officer.

Dad liked gardening, he loved his greenhouses and he loved growing flowers but he was most contented with a book in his hand. He was a voracious reader. He could recite poetry by the yard. Although not well educated in the formal sense of the word, his mind was sharp, he was up to speed with all that was happening and he was very articulate.

In case anyone thinks that we have a saint on our hands, Dad could be completely thrawn. When he said ‘No!’ that did not mean ‘Maybe!’ If there is anything remarkable in Dad’s life it was that he and Mum were graced with so many years together. They watched their children grow and even saw three of them into their 60s! They welcomed and loved their sons- and daughters-in-law, their many grandchildren and great grandchildren. After Dad’s retirement they were able to holiday together when they were fit. Mum used to lament a little that when they needed the money they didn’t have it. When they had more than enough they were not fit to spend it!

In these last few weeks we have been focused as a family on Mum’s terminal illness. Only a week ago today we met to discuss how best to care for Mum at home so that she could be with Dad. Other circumstances intervened. Dad was taken to Ayr Hospital on the Wednesday. He was brought down by Jamie and Effie to visit Mum who was also in Ayr Hospital on the Thursday and he was in great good humour. Mum came home on Friday but not before she in her turn had been taken to visit Dad.

Dad’s condition suddenly deteriorated on Saturday and he died on Christmas Eve with his children round him. He has gone to God and is now waiting patiently for the love of his life, ‘Bid’ to join him. We would like to thank all of you for your great care and support at this time.  It has been so important to us. There are too many people to thank individually but we thank all of you collectively.

Remember Dave, as we will, with love and affection. May he rest in Peace.

Dave did not have long to wait.  Exactly one week after our Dad’s burial our Mum, died on the Feast of the Epiphany, January 6 2012. Her funeral was held at St John’s, Cumnock, on Wednesday at 12 noon.

— Fr McGhee is parish priest at St Michael’s, Kilmarnock.

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